Everything I know about procrastination I learned from Hamlet

Somehow this has become a blog about running. Running has become the only solid thing in my life that I can control. It is an achievement in a world where achievements are few. Its one thing I can do everyday and consider myself accomplished.

Meanwhile, I am not acting. I am not acting. I am not acting.

HOWEVER. I do have a meeting with a teacher from the Neighborhood Playhouse. This is the first step.

Steps:

(things to do by January 20th)

1. Have my hair fixed. It's red-brown now and I remind myself of a golden retriever.
2. Have an APPOINTMENT for new head shots
3. Give Michael all of my reel information
4. Interviewed/audited for two schools or BE in class
5. Memorize one contemporary dramatic monologue (I think I picked one)

Focus. Focus. Focus.

In running news I did a different route today around Greenwood Cemetery. Not a great run. The sidewalks are full of industrial debris and too many hills. I also think there is a big jail there. Or else its a high school. I did it though.

Almost to 9 min miles.

40 miles since Jan 1. Ok I'll stop.

I get to be proud about one thing in my life.

Greenwood Cemetery.

Don't be fooled into thinking you can run all over it and enjoy the company of the dead.
No joggers.
Run around in the trash outside the iron gate.

Full Force and 30 miles

The time of "I am adjusting" is over. There is no time for "Im going through a breakup" so we are getting going now. Every time I look at Backstage I feel like I am a week behind the world. If I had just been ready last week. Let it be that I never feel that way again.

So I am moving forward. Ahead. Through it. Accelerate through the chaos. Though I am beginning to think that the last one is misinformed. I need headshots. I need monologues. I need my hair fixed. I need class. I need a reel. I need to get this all done now.

The time is now.

I feel especially tough when I come back from a run looking like this:



30 miles in 7 days. We are so on track this time.

Second Attempt

Ok so I failed the 100 miles in 30 days goal in December. Failed hardcore. I did get a nice little email from MapMyRun saying I am a loser but not to throw in the towel just yet.

So here I am going for a second try. Maybe second tries are my specialty. That's kinda what New York is all about for me. This time, however, I am stepping it up a notch. FIVE miles a day. It isn't that much different actually, and the course I run works much better for five miles.

I am at 15% since the first. 25 miles a week at least and I will kill this goal once and for all.

And don't think i am using this because I am afraid to find my way into acting here, because that's probably exactly what I'm doing. This is easy. Clear beginning, clear end, clear goal. I am working on transferring that. Just give me a little time.

Home for the holidays

First time home from New York. I was snowed in for the weekend with the rest of the east coast, and had the inevitable tantrum when, on my birthday, my flight and then my rescheduled flight were both canceled.

Then I cowboyed up, which is my new mantra for this twenty-seventh year of my life, and got myself dressed to go shopping in snow covered Manhattan. What a dream. Manhattan at Christmas! The thing I am beginning to learn about this island is that people revel in the struggles that befall the community. They love to greet each other with the latest frustration. "Oh the trains, right?" or "Can you believe this weather?" One quickly feels like she belongs. This is exactly where I am meant to be. At least sometimes I feel that. I feel it way more than I did in Los Angeles anyway.

So homeward bound I was, traveling business class because my mom accidentally booked me fancy for my flight home. Between two very similar chick movies and bottomless wine from Wente wineries, I relaxed through the turbulence and landed in San Francisco.

Most things are right where they are supposed to be right now. Who can ask for more? Well, actually there are a couple things I could ask for...but not now.

not now.

And I made it to seventy miles today. I am a little behind. Now to cram the last thirty miles in eight days!

Halfway There (or things I am learning from running)

Fifty miles today. I left my house having run forty-eight miles in fifteen days, and at the two mile mark (which is the most excruciating uphill point of my course) I made a feeble attempt at pumping my arms in the air in celebration. Fifty miles. After three more miles, I am halfway there. If I can complete this, I get a new pair of shoes.



It is still hard to force myself out into the world to run, but once I do I am flying. I am learning to recognize the voice that tells me its ok to stop and walk or just stop all together. I am learning to shut that voice down before it has a chance to speak. I am remembering Coach Walsh's words from cross country a million years ago; especially, "Pain is weakness leaving your body." I am working on abolishing weakness from my life, however slowly.

Thirty Three Miles in ten days.

I have started a shameless love affair with Prospect Park.

I haven't just started running again.

I have thrown myself into it full force.

I am proud of this one thing in my life right now, so you people who run ten to twenty miles a day and are actually hard core can leave me alone about my little successes.

Prospect Park and Map My Run are my new trainers and I am on "track" (get it?) to running one hundred miles this month. 33% done.

I needed to do something to fight family meal and comfort eating, and it helps me clear my gnarled brain.

At least I think it does.

Then again, I am forgetting things lately, and just when I think I have certain thoughts under control they attack me. I lost my $90 metro card, Michael's camera charger, and camera (separately), and forgot to wear an undershirt running this morning.

There is another possibility: I am nuts.

Anyway, I am running!

And the IMapMyRun app lets me take pictures while I run! Aren't I productive?

Birthday.

Smith/9th St Station - Brooklyn

My birthday is actually on the twentieth. But today Jason and I are going to the Modern to see the Tim Burton exhibit and Hamlet, AND it's probably going to snow

And since I do NOT want to turn 27, I'm considering today my birthday.

Happy birthday to me.