Four and a Half months

Yeah so its been awhile. Its hard to stay with a blog that doesn't post every day. After awhile you feel betrayed. I get it. Thats how I feel sometimes.

What can I say? These days I am wondering what I am supposed to do in this savage limbo. Its four months until I make the biggest (mistake? triumph? or just...) move of my life, and what the hell am I supposed to be doing right now? I am certainly not trying to audition in Los Angeles. I should be. I havent gone back to class. Should be too (except for a tiny money and time situation that I have yet to figure out.)

I am still trying to lose weight and running a lot more. So thats good. I havent had any success but the fight is still on.

I am procrastinating. I am scared.

Ok, now that you have admitted it, what should you be doing?

Well if I am not going to class i need to work at home. I need to find at least six monologues to go to New York with. Three classical (all very different) and three contemporary. Ok.

I need to make money. (am doing this as much as possible. seriously. am replacing anxiety and worry with work. good thing i think, for now)

Lose weight (we already talked about this)

RENT THE TRUCK!!! This will be the FIRST STEP! The first COMMITMENT! We need to do this asap.

GET OUT OF DEBT. Ok so this goes with the money thing, but I really DO need to get out of debt. What would happen if I put all my credit into my debt? I am scared I would overdraw. I have to do the math. I don't like math.

To anyone who reads this blog: I promise it will get more interesting as the summer wears on. I will freak out more and plans will be made. I am especially looking forward to documenting our road trip ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY!! But I am waiting in purgatory for now, atoning my sins so I can go to New York with a clean slate.