Home for the holidays

First time home from New York. I was snowed in for the weekend with the rest of the east coast, and had the inevitable tantrum when, on my birthday, my flight and then my rescheduled flight were both canceled.

Then I cowboyed up, which is my new mantra for this twenty-seventh year of my life, and got myself dressed to go shopping in snow covered Manhattan. What a dream. Manhattan at Christmas! The thing I am beginning to learn about this island is that people revel in the struggles that befall the community. They love to greet each other with the latest frustration. "Oh the trains, right?" or "Can you believe this weather?" One quickly feels like she belongs. This is exactly where I am meant to be. At least sometimes I feel that. I feel it way more than I did in Los Angeles anyway.

So homeward bound I was, traveling business class because my mom accidentally booked me fancy for my flight home. Between two very similar chick movies and bottomless wine from Wente wineries, I relaxed through the turbulence and landed in San Francisco.

Most things are right where they are supposed to be right now. Who can ask for more? Well, actually there are a couple things I could ask for...but not now.

not now.

And I made it to seventy miles today. I am a little behind. Now to cram the last thirty miles in eight days!

Halfway There (or things I am learning from running)

Fifty miles today. I left my house having run forty-eight miles in fifteen days, and at the two mile mark (which is the most excruciating uphill point of my course) I made a feeble attempt at pumping my arms in the air in celebration. Fifty miles. After three more miles, I am halfway there. If I can complete this, I get a new pair of shoes.



It is still hard to force myself out into the world to run, but once I do I am flying. I am learning to recognize the voice that tells me its ok to stop and walk or just stop all together. I am learning to shut that voice down before it has a chance to speak. I am remembering Coach Walsh's words from cross country a million years ago; especially, "Pain is weakness leaving your body." I am working on abolishing weakness from my life, however slowly.

Thirty Three Miles in ten days.

I have started a shameless love affair with Prospect Park.

I haven't just started running again.

I have thrown myself into it full force.

I am proud of this one thing in my life right now, so you people who run ten to twenty miles a day and are actually hard core can leave me alone about my little successes.

Prospect Park and Map My Run are my new trainers and I am on "track" (get it?) to running one hundred miles this month. 33% done.

I needed to do something to fight family meal and comfort eating, and it helps me clear my gnarled brain.

At least I think it does.

Then again, I am forgetting things lately, and just when I think I have certain thoughts under control they attack me. I lost my $90 metro card, Michael's camera charger, and camera (separately), and forgot to wear an undershirt running this morning.

There is another possibility: I am nuts.

Anyway, I am running!

And the IMapMyRun app lets me take pictures while I run! Aren't I productive?

Birthday.

Smith/9th St Station - Brooklyn

My birthday is actually on the twentieth. But today Jason and I are going to the Modern to see the Tim Burton exhibit and Hamlet, AND it's probably going to snow

And since I do NOT want to turn 27, I'm considering today my birthday.

Happy birthday to me.

Reemerging

I am pretty sure I have heard it said that moving is one of the top five most stressful events in life. Supposedly it's up there with babies and divorce.
So I fell into a little pit. I am out of it now.
New York City is a completely different world to me. The sheer intensity of it rocked me to the point of exhaustion and I actually fell asleep on the subway more than once.
So much is happening! All the time! Plus homesickness, self-doubt, and "did I do the right thing?" I was overwhelmed.
In the last few days I have felt myself finally come out of the fog. I have been running and taking pictures. I experienced an epiphany that I do belong here, a fact I have known since I was ten.
So I am accepting the sacrifices. I am accepting a few really great losses and I am accepting that I live in New York City now.