Sunday, March 29, 2009

Goodbye Neptune's Net

Neptune's Net is one of the best places in the Los Angeles Area. My boyfriend and I traveled to Malibu to experience it one last time. We relaxed on the beach and enjoyed the sun. Afterwards we went to lunch at this little shrimp joint overlooking the water. Admittedly, an ex-boyfriend introduced me to it. Said ex-boyfriend had a way of finding the best places in Los Angeles. For a time I could see real beauty in a lot of the little corners of this town. Of course, when current boyfriend and I went to Neptune's Net this weekend, we ran into said ex-boyfriend. This little biker restaurant overlooking the Pacific Ocean is his territory. I broke up with him. So we respectfully say goodbye to one of the most amazing places in Los Angeles.
Every time I go to Neptune's Net, there are a gazillion bikers parked out front drinking, smoking and feeling the breeze come off of the ocean. For some reason they all see fit to leave at exactly the same time. The roar of their motorcycles is deafening and amazing. I will probably sneak back here one more time this summer. It truly is a diamond in the rough.
And on a personal note. Do you ever see your exes and think, "Oh yeah...THAT'S why I dated you" and its kind of a relief? Ex-boyfriend in question is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I wasn't romantically attracted to him. I wanted to BE him. He has an ability to be in the moment and appreciate little things that I really wish I had in myself. Ah. Memories of youth and mistakes past. Los Angeles has seen so many of mine...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Do Yourself a Favor

So I have been working my gazankus off at Bizou this week. I am so damn sick of that place that I could scream. I am sick of the customers, of my co-workers, my boss, the bar, the kitchen, just everything. I work in the morning and am done at 3. Then I have to go back at six. This is my break. On my break I read people's blogs and try to make myself disappear.

You know how they tell you that only you can make yourself happy and you have to will things to happen and yadda yadda? How the HELL does anyone actually do that? I mean, I know they are right, but I am so sick of just being downright miz. Is New York going to help this?

I'll tell you what has helped today. This AMAZING blog. Do yourself a favor and read this gloriousness.

Afterwards, if you have time and your eyes don't hurt because you couldn't take them away from the page, read this blog too.

You are welcome.

I'm off to make myself happy.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I Love L.A. (sometimes)

Ok not really, but sometimes. I keep thinking that I should publish a post with all the things I do love about L.A. like...

1. My sister is here.
2. My amazing apartment
3. Griffith Park
4. The Getty
5. Jasmine in the spring (inspiration for this post today)
6. Hopeful artists from all over the world
7. The Farmer's Market at the Grove
8. The Ahmanson
9. The Hollywood Sign
10. The Central Los Angeles Library
11. Downtown Los Angeles
12. The way that the coolest places are hidden in strip malls and down alleys
13. Malibu beaches and Neptune's Net
14. The kids at Robert F. Kennedy Elementary School
15. Midori Sushi where the waitress knows me, my sister, my boyfriend, our drink orders and whether or not we want the usual.
16. My walk to work
17. Auditioning at Warner Brothers when the tour bus drives by and everyone thinks you might be somebody
18. Bill Handel and KFI 640 am
19. Trivia Nights at Pineapple Hill Saloon and Grill

I think I need one good picture of each of these things before I leave.

Next list...Things to experience in Los Angeles before I move the Heck away from it...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

One Thousand Dollars

Somehow my PARENTS in Northern California got the letter from the Los Angeles Police Department about my "unsafe left turn" ticket.

Fine. Send it to me. Right?

No. Of course my dad opens it (rips it open) and reads it. They proceed to call me and tell me that this little mistake of mine is going to cost me upwards of a thousand dollars. I am shocked. There is NO way I can afford a thousand dollar ticket. Okay, I reason, they will take some off when I show them I DO actually have insurance. Then my dad proceeds to nag me about how irresponsible I am. I proceed to tell him that its none of his business. That's when the fight begins.

First of all let me explain that I have been completely financially independent for almost three years. Meaning, I have been out of college and paying my own rent etc for three years. How dare he tell me that I am not doing a good job taking care of myself?? Most of my girlfriends from high school and college are still getting SOME help from their parents. (Many of whom I have somehow ceased to relate, I must admit.)

How dare they open my mail? What the hell? They do nothing but tell me that acting is a ridiculous profession and that I am "stupid" for moving to New York. Not ONCE have they said ANYTHING positive about how I am living my life.

This all might have been less of a big deal if there wasn't a thousand dollars involved. How am I going to move to New York with this kind of drag on my budget? No. I'm not going there. Actually I am going to fight this ticket, because I am a big girl even though my parents refuse to see it.

I know how to fight my own battles.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


So it’s officially painful to do my Craigslist fantasizing. I found the greatest apartment today (as I almost always do) but of course it’s ready NOW. I won’t need an apartment until October probably. I bought my (future and present) roommate, Michael, a Not for Tourists book of Brooklyn for his birthday. It has a great map of the communities in Brooklyn. (There is probably a better name than communities.)

So I have a new list:

Brooklyn Heights (if we can get a nice place)/ DUMBO / Downtown Brooklyn (...well see)
Fort Greene/Clinton Hill
Park Slope/Prospect Heights
Windsor Terrace
Prospect-Lefferts Gardens/ Crown Heights
Sunset Park/Greenwood Heights

I chose these places because they are close to Manhattan, and are pretty good areas. I really want to live near Prospect Park. I think I may be in love with Prospect Park.

Actually I think I’m going to put a down payment on this new condo:

When I’m really fantasizing, I look at Halstead Properties. If only....

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I am working on a budget for my trip to New York. I figured out (thanks to the great Google Maps) that if my (future and current) roommate, Michael and I want to take the south route it's going to be about 3,300 miles. According to Google, that’s two days. Were thinking ten! Insane. It is going to be the single most terrifying adventure of my life. I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, I must say, blogging is new to me, and reading the blogs of all kinds of amazing people has become my private (guilty?) passion. And, confession of the day, I am scared to follow all these blogs because what if they don’t like me? Do they want me to follow them? Maybe I’m too much of a heathen to be anywhere near the beautiful pictures of their children and amazing crafts they make.

I can't help it today, though. One of my favorite bloggers, Marta from Marta Writes published a serendipitous post today. She shares my passion for New York, and I just know I am going to be referring to her post a hundred times when I get to the big apple. (It’s so nice to talk like that, "When I get there.") So anyway. Her blog is awesome. It put a sparkle in my morning that I just had to share...

P.S. Current Apartment Love

Monday, March 9, 2009

Six Months

I am dreaming on Craigslist today as I have done for years. Only now are my fantasies possible, and even necessary. I have admired apartment rentals on Halstead and Craigslist for years. Now I am actually looking for a real apartment. Of course, my rational self knows that looking for an apartment in March when you’re moving in September is a little ridiculous, but so what? Today the goal is deciding EXACTLY what neighborhoods in Brooklyn I am willing to live in. I don’t really know the area that well. I know that I want to be near the city and in a safe neighborhood. Near a train too.

The list so far:

Park Slope
Windsor Terrace
Prospect Park South
Prospect Heights
Fulton Ferry?
Vinegar Hill?
Bath Beach?

Current apartment love

I would LOVE to live in Park Slope because two sets of friends live there. I love Prospect Park. One set of friends has a three bedroom apartment on the second floor of their building facing the park! My buddy had his bed in such a way that when he wakes up Prospect Park is the first thing he sees. The snow falling outside his window was a sight to behold. And to wake up to that EVERY DAY?? And Prospect Park in the SPRING?? Oh man. This is what happens to me when my fantasies have their way. Anyway...jealous. I can only hope to find something so amazing.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


I had a dream last night. I didn’t think much of it at first but it hasn’t left me all day. It was very vivid and emotional. I am thinking it has very significant meaning.

A very old man is dying. We are at a huge facility and everyone knew this big man is dying. He is particularly close to me. I go to him and he doesn't really say much or do much but I know he loves me and we have a knowing bond between us. He reminds me of Hugh Hefner the way he is sweet with Kendra when she leaves the house, and also Ron Thronston who died when I was in college, all the awards I won in college were "Ron Thronston" awards, and also the vice principal of my junior high school. He wanted me be the one to carry him to his chair. A huge assembly was being held. As we were walking I was crying, but I knew I needed to say something to him. I said, "I just want you to know how thankful I am for all you have done for me." It was all I could get out. I helped him to the area, and then lifted him in both of my arms, and laid him softly in his seat. He was extremely frail and light. His seat was big and on a high platform overlooking the assembly. He nodded for me to leave him.

I did and someone took me to another place in the building. We climbed up into the vent. I think we were trying to see higher or something. We climbed up into the ceiling and then the ladder we had flew out and I almost fell but my companion helped me up. The place was so small we were so cramped I wasn’t sure how we would last up there. We needed to get down but we were extremely high in the air. I was terrified. I thought I would die. Then my companion found a way deeper into the ceiling. There was a hallway with a poster of a play that Jeremy Pivin and a couple other actors were in. Then we were in the play. Not performing a play but living it as if it were real. The room was like a crafted set. There was a walking space, and the beds and other playing areas were raised slightly. Then I woke up.

So I’m thinking I may not post this because who wants to know the innermost workings of my subconscious brain? But what the hell? This blog is to get me to New York, so maybe one of my new friends will provide some insight.

I think the old man is like my life here in Los Angeles. I went to college in Orange County and owe all of my training in acting to this town. I have spent the entirety of my adult life here. I had my heart broken, fell in love, fell in love again and one more time. I have had more success in college than I ever dreamed of. I was on television! But my life here is expiring. Maybe the arena and the big assembly is the entirety of my life and now the man sits in his chair and watches the rest, his part is over. So I climb higher into the arena, to New York?! A play?! That part is less clear to me. I just know that the terrified feeling of climbing too high and the ladder falling out underneath you is familiar when I think of moving to New York.

So anyway. Thank you for letting me be self indulgent.

Autograph Request

So I got this email this morning with the subject titled "Autograph request." Now I am not a narcissistic person so I know its not real...but still. Weird.

"Hi I'm writing to see how I might get a color signed agency headshot for my son. He is a beginning cinematographer and part-time actor and is working on writing his first film script. He is finishing grad school this semester with degree in Radio/TV/Film.Can you honor this autograph request. May God bless youAJ"


Sunday, March 1, 2009

New York "Thing"

Me...less defeated.

This New York thing might be my last chance.

I am a non-working actor in Los Angeles. I am disgruntled to say the least. It isn’t happening. I love acting. I love theatre. I think it is important, but somehow this business has not opened up to me in almost three years and I am tired. I do not want to schmooze agents and managers. I feel fake, which I cannot STAND.

I watch all these bridal showers and baby showers on the weekend. People get married. I want that so badly. My twenty-six-year-old heart and body wants CHILDREN and to make a HOME. And I am sitting in it thinking, "And what? You’re going to give all this up?" This WHAT??? This "professional waitress"ing like the horrible woman at trivia was so keen to tell me I am. I am not acting. I don’t even want to go to class. I don’t want to audition. I don’t want to do Los Angeles anymore.

Ha. Also my old acting teacher emailed me to remind me that I promised I would do a scene. I’m a big fat liar and a cheat and I’m a quitter and this sucks.

I feel like Alexander who had The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. He was sure everything would be fine if he moved to Australia. Or am I Kate Winslet and Leo in Revolutionary Road? If I don't go to France... (trying not to spoil the movie)...bad things will happen? If you’ve seen it you REALLY know what I mean.

I have to go to New York. I have to give this thing one last shot. I can go for it in theatre there. I know that game much better.

But what if I fail? Worse...what if or how or when do I give up?

What if I could be really happy doing something totally normal and safe?

When You Go Out to Eat

I have worked at over ten restaurants in my day. That’s a lot. I have worked at California Pizza Kitchen for two years, Denny’s, IHOP, Tokyo Cafe, Schlotzskys, and Bizou (among others). And when I say that people don’t know how to act when they go to a restaurant, I know what I am talking about.

Here is a little list of rules (dare I say COMMANDMENTS) that people should follow should they ever decide to set foot in any kind of restaurant, respectable or otherwise. I may add more later. This is a very important issue.

1. The bread you get at the beginning is free. No one gets tipped on it. Don’t ask for more. Don’t ask for it toasted. Don’t ask if there is any more "nut bread" because there isn’t. No one has time for this petty request.

2. When the corkage is 2$ that means I don’t have to pour it for you. Sorry.

3. When the waiter comes to your table to check to see if you need anything, that’s your chance to tell him or her if you need anything. You do not get to say "Lemons!" and when he or she comes back say, "More nut bread." You get one chance. That is all.

4. Do not bring your children out to a nice restaurant if they do not know how to act. They must sit in the chair provided for them and not get up unless chaperoned to the restroom. There are no kids’ menus at fine dining restaurants. Do not ask for one. Do not expect one. Get your kid the chicken, and do not mess with the recipe. Your kid does NOT get to wander. Get a babysitter. We are in a recession. Anyone will do it!

5. When ordering: look at the menu. Do not order the pork tenderloin and then ask what it comes with. It’s on the GD menu. Read the menu. That’s what it’s for.

6. If you don’t like what you ordered because of the ingredients that are clearly on the menu that you didn’t read, you have to eat it. No sending it back. Ever.

7. If you DO change the menu you eat what you ordered. Say the sesame coated salmon comes with burgundy wine sauce and potato pancakes. You decide to get lemon cream sauce and saffron shrimp risotto. You have ruined the dish. When it doesn’t taste right, it is your fault. Do not send it back. You are not a chef. Get what is on the menu or go to Burger King. This isn’t "have it your way" This isn’t hamburgers, it’s a recipe slaved over and tested and approved. You are an idiot if you think you know better than a chef who owns THE most popular restaurant on Ventura Blvd.

8. Pay attention to the time. If the restaurant closes at 10pm. Pay your bill before that. Under no circumstances should you order a dessert after 10pm. It will be spit in.

10. Do not question the waiter. You may think that a restaurant has escargot. If the waiter says, "No we have never had escargot." Do not ask him or her to go check in the kitchen. They do not have escargot. You are an idiot. The waiter is there every day with the same food. You are thinking of another place.

11. If you tip even a penny less than 15% your will be cursed and bad luck will come to you. The standard is now 18-20%. If the service is good, any less is beyond shameful.

12. NEVER make the waitress decide who gets to pay the bill. This is very uncomfortable and she knows her tip is at stake. If there is going to be a fight about who gets to pay, leave it between you and your party, do not put it on the person who has ten other tables and has been on her feet for six hours already. It’s disgusting.

Anyway, I have been working since 10:45 this morning and am not looking forward to another double tomorrow. I’m a little bitter.

Anyone know some other rules I may have missed?