Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bob*

Bob* is one of the reasons I know I have to get out of Los Angeles.

He is a sixty-year-old once VERY successful actor who had terrible knee injuries which led to nine surgeries, six months in the hospital, and virtual removal from Hollywood existence. You would recognize him if you saw him. He was on at least twelve very popular television shows as a recurring character. He did forty big budget movies, two of which you will have heard of. He knew so many people. I have seen the pictures. They don’t return his calls.

He sent a gumball machine to Jean Smart and Christina Applegate on Samantha Who? The card said: "To Jean: From your first onscreen kiss. To Christina: From your first onscreen clown. Call me and thank me. - Bob." We saw Jean Smart at a recent memorial for Milton Katselas, a well-loved acting teacher. She mentioned that the machine was near Craft Services. They never sent him a thank you.

You have to get pretty freaking famous in this town for anyone to remember you when tragedy happens. It is so easy to slip into oblivion.

He is a mess now. He sits in an easy chair in his dark house, watches television all day, and pees into a jug, which I remove and pour into the toilet. I know you don’t want a visual, but sometimes I’m not there the whole weekend and the stuff sits.

Monday jugs have chunks.

He is not trying to act again. He talks about it sometimes. He talks about making millions of dollars with network marketing and starting his theatre company up again. I want to ask him, why not just get in a wheelchair and go to auditions? If he wanted to act, he COULD. He is famous. He is a "name." People would cast him just for the comeback story. But he doesn’t. He sits in his chair and barks orders at me. He could make millions just doing a couple damn commercials for drug companies. I am honestly not sure why he doesn’t make more of an effort. Maybe it’s just too scary.

I am his assistant. I work with him two days a week dumping pee, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and trying to keep my sanity while I help him with a network marketing thing he's doing.

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